Su Pollard. Photo: Jermain Francis. Styling: Phoebe Arnold. Hair: Jessica Furlon. Make-Up: Zoe Taylor.

fashion
8/20/2008

Su Pollard: Life-Enhancer.


by Paul Tierney


Su Pollard simply can’t stop talking. Side-splitting anecdotes, good natured gossip and ridiculous showbiz stories come pouring out of her mouth in a torrent of non-stop hilarity. If she didn’t exist you’d be hard pressed to make this ‘life-enhancer’ (as she likes to think of herself) up.
It’s almost thirty years since she graced our screens as Peggy the hapless chambermaid in Hi De Hi, and yet it’s as if she were one and the same person. She laughs like a drain, gets flustered at the simplest instructions, and mooches about like she’s still got Miss Cathcart on her trail. But there’s more to this woman than pure caricature. She’s never stopped working – whether it’s frightening small children in panto, or hoofing it around the world in musical theatre – and is constantly in demand for her out of sync views and irresistible charisma. Just a curtain call away from being sixty years old, she’s a specs-wearing, lippy-loving, old school comedy trooper and we can’t get enough of her.


Paul Tierney: Let’s talk fashion Su. You describe your style as ‘raucous’…

Su Pollard: “I think I’ve just got a wild imagination. I can look at something - and it doesn’t really matter what material it’s made of or the colour, even if it’s black - if the shape’s fun I like it. Years ago, I really liked lace and denim together. I probably looked like a morris dancer because I wore ribbons around my ankles and wrists. I think the word raucous came about because I’m not necessarily safe or straightforward.”

PT: It looks a bit like you’ve pulled everything out of your wardrobe and tried wearing it all at once – a ‘melange’ as they say in fashion.

SP: “I sometimes think it would be easier if I was a slip and ballet pumps type of girl – I could be out of the door in ten minutes - but I’m a big believer in odd socks and stuff that’s not meant to go together. I mean, where do designers get their ideas from? I just think that everybody should be able to wear whatever they want to. I like tutus for instance, but then people say to me – you can’t wear a tutu when you’re nearly sixty. Who says I can’t? Look at Vivienne Westwood, and she’s nearly seventy.”

PT: Are you a fan of Vivienne’s?

SP: “Yes, definitely, she’s brilliant, and I also like Zandra Rhodes. What I discovered though, which annoys me sometimes, is I’ll be walking down the street and someone will take a picture of me and then I’ll find that a designer will have copied what I’ve created. That’s when I think I should have my own fashion label.”

PT: You say you hate Prada but love Primark, and I’ve heard you name-check designers such as McQueen and Giles Deacon.

SP: “Giles and I are very likeminded, although he’s mostly a couturier. He likes people that like fashion, even if it’s not the high end of the market. I think he also likes the idea that people can put things together themselves. He got through to my agent once and said, ‘Do you think Su would help me to do a shoot?’ Of course, I was thrilled to bits because I think he’d just won designer of the year. I thought, yes I like him, I just liked what he did. I have this other friend called Karl-Ludwig Reiser who does a lot of stuff for the Queen. Can you imagine? Dressed by a queen who does stuff for the Queen!”

PT: Do you ever get sick of being tagged ‘larger than life’?

SP: “No, I don’t really mind that at all because the world needs that. I’m a life embracer. Some people are regarded as extremely low profile in the way they live their lives but that wouldn’t suit me. I understand what you’re saying, and that people think I only show them one side of the coin, but the thing is, you don’t have time to show every single facet of yourself. I’d like to think I was a positive influence.”

PT: A lot of people think that you can’t possibly be for real, that it’s some kind of act.

SP: “And I say, don’t be ridiculous, I’m fifty-nine fucking years old, don’t you think I know myself by now? My friend who’s a psychologist says if you don’t know yourself by the time you’re forty you’re never going to settle. I’ve got no worries – touch wood – so I don’t have to live behind a façade of insecurity.”

PT: You’ve been described as “an eccentric comic British institution”, which makes you sound like a grand architectural folly with a blue plaque.

SP: “Wouldn’t that be great? I’d love to have a blue plaque stuck on me! When you’re young you just grow up with yourself and you just live life every single day, and it never occurs to you that someone might call you eccentric. Now I’m older I think I probably warrant that terminology and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s nice to think that people hold you in some sort of affection.”

PT: Be honest Su, are you ever in a bad mood?

SP: “I try never to be in a bad mood, and if am I try and keep it to myself because it has a knock on effect and you’re bringing your mood into someone else’s day.”

PT: Where does this boundless enthusiasm come from? Who instilled that in you?

SP: “Certainly from my dad I would say. Unfortunately he died a couple of years ago and we really miss him, but he was a very gregarious man. He always used to say to me, ‘Just do the very best you can Su and try to be a decent person. If you’re doing things with a good heart, hopefully you can’t go wrong. Try to avoid negative situations and don’t listen to anybody who wants to gossip.’”

PT: I suspect you’re quite a serious person underneath it all.

SP: “Very much so Paul. I don’t ladle it on thick, although I know exactly what’s going on in my head. I call it ‘The Five Ps’: Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance. I take my work extremely seriously and I expect other people to have that same sort of regard.” 

PT: People are always surprised to discover that you’ve got a really strong singing voice.

SP: “The thing is, you get trapped in a way. Elaine Paige and I always used to go to auditions together. She happened to get Evita and I happened to get a sit-com, so it’s funny what route you take. Poor old Elaine used to say, ‘I wish I could get into a play or something’ and I would want to sing, so you’re caught between two stools.”

PT: You did have a big hit in the 80s though.

SP: “Oh yes (bursts into song), ‘Starting Together’, it was the campest thing ever. I was mortified when I was beaten to number one by Diana Ross. I wanted to head butt her! I still get asked to go to weddings now – ‘Come to our Tyrone and Tracy’s do. We can’t give you any money but we can give you a piece of cake and your expenses.”

PT: Did you know that you were the inspiration behind American Boy by Estelle. She said she totally had you in mind when she sang the chorus. How bizarre is that?

SP: “I was absolutely so so surprised by that. How fantastic is that? Something about my style obviously caught her eye.”

PT: And (famously) you’re very big with the gays too.

SP: “What I think it is is this Paul: I offer the guys no discrimination in any sort of way. I met my first gay man when I was fifteen. It was very much under wraps then as you can imagine. They all gathered in the Dog & Partridge pub - in the back room with their Pringle shirts. I loved their sense of humour, I totally clicked with it. I guess I just offered them empathy and totally accepted them for who they are. I cannot stand bitchy queens though, they piss me off.”

PT: Sorry to bring it up, but didn’t you actually marry a gay man once thinking he was straight?

SP: “Yes, my one and only husband. His handbag was bigger than mine! I did think he had a funny walk, and the walk’s always a giveaway, isn’t it? I said to him, ‘You’re as camp as arseholes.’ That’s what my house is called by the way: ‘Campus R Soles’.  Anyway, he said to me, ‘Su, I didn’t choose to fall in love with you, but I have.’ Famously he was quoted at the time as saying: ‘I used to be gay but I’ve put it all behind me,’ which was a rather unfortunate statement.”

PT: You’ve had a odd career, haven’t you Su? One minute you’re in panto, then you’re in a musical, and now you’re the voice of Costcutter!

SP: “I love it. ‘Half a pound of back bacon for £1.99’. It’s fantastic. Years ago I said to my agent I would like to think that I could have an eclectic career. I’ve always thought it was wrong to limit myself.”

PT: Doesn’t the Hi De Hi thing get on your nerves a bit now?

SP: “No, never. People still remember me from being in something that was pure gold and I’m only too happy to approach that with a good face. I can’t turn round to people who shout ‘Hi De Hi’ in the street and say, ‘Oh, for fuck sake, I’ve just been in a production of Romeo And Juliet’, because that’s not going to endear you to anybody.”

PT: I don’t know why you’ve never been cast in a straight role. I can see you doing pathos, something like Alan Bennett’s Talking Heads.

SP: “I had a meeting with Alan Bennett once who admitted to me that he didn’t cast certain people because he didn’t think their time was right yet. I do think some casting agents are incredibly lazy, They don’t use their imagination or think outside of the box.”

PT: There’s a lot of life left in you yet, but you have said (rather brilliantly) that when you die you want to come back as a gay man’s dog.

SP:“Yes, what a bloody pampered life they lead! You should have seen them at Fire Island, being carted along in these velvet-lined boxes. They’re always snappy though, gay men’s dogs, have you noticed? I don’t know why, because they live with the security that they’ll never be stranded or tied to a tree. Unless they’re a gay man’s sex dog of course!”

PT: You’ve been getting rave reviews in the musical Shout, but the critics have not always been so kind have they?

SP: “Garry Bushell once said I was the reason we should bring back hanging. Cunt. More importantly, my dad used to say, if you can please half the audience you’re doing well because you’re never going to please everybody and I think he was right. I’m just glad if someone writes to me and says they enjoyed the show and wants an autograph. I want to be remembered as a life-enhancer Paul, it’s as simple as that.”

PT.

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